651am, what am i doin up. Our kitten Panda passed away Wed night after we got home from softball. I totally lost it,hyperventilated and anxiety attack all in one fast minute. I wish I could understand why the people/animals I love keep getting taken away from me. There are no answers. Well loosing Panda put me one step back and my heart really is lost. The kitten was actually helping me cope and god decided to take him to heaven. I am trying so hard to understand I really am. Dont know what will happen to me if we loose one more thing. So I just hope and try to keep the faith. I really hope soon we can get out of our situation because this hole has gotten bigger and we cant seem to dig out.