Sunday, December 25, 2011

Happy 1st christmas son!

Happy birthday Jesus! God bless all the angels. Merry 1st heavenly Christmas Jacob! You are loved more than words can say. Have a wonderful day celebrating on the clouds w/ Jesus and all your angel friends. <3

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Jacob turns 6mos old


Joyful
Angel
Cuddly
Our heart
Bright
*
Brave
Radiant
Adorable
Daddy's lil' man
Loveable
Youthful
Happy 6mos baby boy.
Even though you are in heaven enjoying your milestone, 
mommy and daddy are having a cupcake for you here too.


Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Constant thoughts..

My constant thoughts are almost haunting me. The night mare of loosing Jacob replays in mind on days I am lonely and the nights are just the worst. I often can't sleep because my mind is always working and DH is sound asleep. I pray before I go to sleep every night and I can stay asleep for about 4 hours and then I wake up like clock work . Sometimes it's scarey because I am supposed to be tending to a 5 month old and I wonder if I am sleep walking looking for him. On some days I have to wake myself up and remind myself Jacob is in heaven and he is no longer hurting. We will be okay. Today I have been in a lazy mood. Not tending to anything. But I can't tend to anything really anyways because of the clutter. Just the usual clean the stove,clean the potty, wash clothes,wash dishes and play with the pup and cuddle with her for a nap. That's how my days run together and before I know it the weekend is here. I keep my self busy by reading the books I got from the hospital and the ones I got from my dad. They are all helpful and I am thankful for them. So I sit here right now am thinking about tomorrow. Jacob turns 6 months old in heaven , wish he was here with us. So tomorrow I am lighting a candle and hoping to have the courage to write a letter. I pray for strength. Love you Jacob..Fly high my little bugger !! ^J^

Monday, September 19, 2011

Precious Little one

Shered from my support group:
Precious Little One
Author Unknown

Precious, tiny little one
You'll always be to me
So perfect, pure and innocent -
Part of heaven's family.

We dreamed of you and your life
And all that it would be.
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family.

We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle.
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle.

I'll always be your mother,
He'll always be your dad,
You'll always be our child,
The child that we have.

Now you're gone... but yet you're here
We sense you everywhere.
You're our sorrow and our joy,
There's love in every tear.

Just know our love goes deep and strong,
We'll forget you never-
The child we had but never had,
And yet will have forever.