Tired of getting forward...

Tired of getting forward and then falling all the way back down again not being able to get up.

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9/16/11

I wake up this morning at 6:30am. Thinking of why am I awake but It is because I wasn't feeling good last night and went to sleep about 9:30pm, not like me at all. So right now it is 8:40am I am at the computer typing a new blog. The doggy and DH are still asleep. * I think often of Jacob but isn't in a numb, why us way like it was in the beginning. I have learned to cope with loosing him and understand why he passed. I do still have those days where I am so lost and confused I have no one to talk to about how I am feeling. I get told very often that others do not know how I am doing this after loosing Jacob and how I am so strong. I truthfully don't know either I am just living life and having faith in god. I do tell my mom that when I visit, she always asks me how am I dealing with the grief and I tell her " mom I just have to be strong and tell myself that it will be okay and we will make it thru this. Not a day goes by that I think of my angel and of course I wish h…
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9.13.11

Havent written in awhile. Today I am angry. Just mad at the world. I didnt sleep last night for nothing. Cant sleep now. I dont want to feel this way. Greif is ugly. I miss Jacob so much my heart hurts,my head hurts, my body aches and crying just makes me feel more weak. I got answers I needed from the Dr but how did I get back to being angry...where did my peace go? God please give me strength. I want another baby so bad and I am scared. Will I be ok? Will DH be ok? Will my marriage be ok? So many new questions but no one to answer. Dear lord, Today I am hurting deep inside. My tears wont stop. Please help me get thru this grief. Tell my son I love him. Please show me a sign it will all be ok and we will come outta this storm. Amen
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