In god's arms


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Doozy

These past couple of days have been rough. Wish we could rewind to April & none of this would've happen. Jacob would be here with us & our happiness would be back. I was strong when I had to be & now & then I still am but recently everything has come back like a flash flood. I'm on step 5 of 7 in the grieving process & I feel like I am going backwards. Anger is so bad, wish all these feelings would disappear.   After 2 mos, yesterday I visited w my niece (2 y/o old) & nephew (2 mos old), I held back tears until I got home last night. Our nephew was born after Jacob passed so its still fresh when I am with them. I know in time I will feel better but not sure when. I hope soon in time after this has healed god will bless us with another baby.  
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9/16/11

I wake up this morning at 6:30am. Thinking of why am I awake but It is because I wasn't feeling good last night and went to sleep about 9:30pm, not like me at all. So right now it is 8:40am I am at the computer typing a new blog. The doggy and DH are still asleep. * I think often of Jacob but isn't in a numb, why us way like it was in the beginning. I have learned to cope with loosing him and understand why he passed. I do still have those days where I am so lost and confused I have no one to talk to about how I am feeling. I get told very often that others do not know how I am doing this after loosing Jacob and how I am so strong. I truthfully don't know either I am just living life and having faith in god. I do tell my mom that when I visit, she always asks me how am I dealing with the grief and I tell her " mom I just have to be strong and tell myself that it will be okay and we will make it thru this. Not a day goes by that I think of my angel and of course I ...
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