I have come to a point that I know our baby Jacob is in heaven w/god and is okay. I might not be able to hold him or etc. Jacob wouldn't want his parents so unhappy like we are. Jacob was on this earth for 14 days and I need to except he is gone but will always be in our hearts. Another thing is I need to tell myself often " I am a mother, just because he's not here doesn't mean your not. Or any less of a person" I hear that from John but I had to come to terms w/it myself. If god wants me to have a baby alive on this earth, I need to keep my faith and keep hoping for another blessing. Only way I think I'll be able to keep the faith is by loving John and myself. But I don't want to be alone in this, I need our parents and most of all we need each other. I know that I maybe coping differently, but its because of what I went thru. One thing that will help is to weed out the bad, only want the good and the ones who TRULY CARE. I thank god every day for what I have even if I am angry and lost; but knowing my son is always watching over me and his father keeps my hope alive. But please be kind to and bear w/us during this time.