Happy birthday Jesus! God bless all the angels. Merry 1st heavenly Christmas Jacob! You are loved more than words can say. Have a wonderful day celebrating on the clouds w/ Jesus and all your angel friends. <3
My constant thoughts are almost haunting me. The night mare of loosing Jacob replays in mind on days I am lonely and the nights are just the worst. I often can't sleep because my mind is always working and DH is sound asleep. I pray before I go to sleep every night and I can stay asleep for about 4 hours and then I wake up like clock work . Sometimes it's scarey because I am supposed to be tending to a 5 month old and I wonder if I am sleep walking looking for him. On some days I have to wake myself up and remind myself Jacob is in heaven and he is no longer hurting. We will be okay. Today I have been in a lazy mood. Not tending to anything. But I can't tend to anything really anyways because of the clutter. Just the usual clean the stove,clean the potty, wash clothes,wash dishes and play with the pup and cuddle with her for a nap. That's how my days run together and before I know it the weekend is here. I keep my self busy by reading the books I got from the hospital a...
I wake up this morning at 6:30am. Thinking of why am I awake but It is because I wasn't feeling good last night and went to sleep about 9:30pm, not like me at all. So right now it is 8:40am I am at the computer typing a new blog. The doggy and DH are still asleep. * I think often of Jacob but isn't in a numb, why us way like it was in the beginning. I have learned to cope with loosing him and understand why he passed. I do still have those days where I am so lost and confused I have no one to talk to about how I am feeling. I get told very often that others do not know how I am doing this after loosing Jacob and how I am so strong. I truthfully don't know either I am just living life and having faith in god. I do tell my mom that when I visit, she always asks me how am I dealing with the grief and I tell her " mom I just have to be strong and tell myself that it will be okay and we will make it thru this. Not a day goes by that I think of my angel and of course I ...
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