Trying to Catch the Rain..

By JH, blgm

Tired of getting forward and then falling all the way back down again not being able to get up.

J oyful A ngel C uddly O ur heart B right * B rave R adiant A dorable D addy's lil' man L oveable Y outhful Happy 6mos baby boy. Even though you are in heaven enjoying your milestone,  mommy and daddy are having a cupcake for you here too.

My constant thoughts are almost haunting me. The night mare of loosing Jacob replays in mind on days I am lonely and the nights are just the worst. I often can't sleep because my mind is always working and DH is sound asleep. I pray before I go to sleep every night and I can stay asleep for about 4 hours and then I wake up like clock work . Sometimes it's scarey because I am supposed to be tending to a 5 month old and I wonder if I am sleep walking looking for him. On some days I have to wake myself up and remind myself Jacob is in heaven and he is no longer hurting. We will be okay. Today I have been in a lazy mood. Not tending to anything. But I can't tend to anything really anyways because of the clutter. Just the usual clean the stove,clean the potty, wash clothes,wash dishes and play with the pup and cuddle with her for a nap. That's how my days run together and before I know it the weekend is here. I keep my self busy by reading the books I got from the hospital a

Shered from my support group: Precious Little One Author Unknown Precious, tiny little one You'll always be to me So perfect, pure and innocent - Part of heaven's family. We dreamed of you and your life And all that it would be. We waited and longed for you to come And join our family. We never had the chance to play, To laugh, to rock, to wiggle. We long to hold you, touch you now And listen to you giggle. I'll always be your mother, He'll always be your dad, You'll always be our child, The child that we have. Now you're gone... but yet you're here We sense you everywhere. You're our sorrow and our joy, There's love in every tear. Just know our love goes deep and strong, We'll forget you never- The child we had but never had, And yet will have forever.